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Get the most interesting and important stories from the University of Pittsburgh.We can build the capacity to engage with each other, whether that’s through conversations, debate, showing respect or demonstrating empathy, said Carissa Slotterback, dean and professor in the School of Public and International Affairs.
On April 2, she facilitated a conversation between David Greene, an award-winning journalist, best-selling author and host of Left, Right and Center, a weekly politics podcast tackling contentious political and social issues, and Katie Dealy, former chief engagement officer for the U.S. Surgeon General Vivek Murthy, who drove national public health efforts on youth mental health, social media and loneliness.
The event, “Reclaiming Connection: How Discourse and Dialogue Can Combat Loneliness and Build Community,” which supported Pitt’s Year of Discourse and Dialogue programming, touched on strategies for destigmatizing loneliness, deepening interpersonal connections and building the capacity to engage in challenging dialogue.
Here are five key takeaways from the discussion:
Know you’re not alone
Slotterback began the conversation by asking Dealy and Greene to explain how loneliness has become a common American experience.
“The instinct is to assume that the pandemic is the root of many people’s loneliness,” said Dealy. “But before the pandemic, nearly 1 in 2 Americans reported feeling significant loneliness. [There’s] a decrease in the percentage of people who report having three or fewer close friends and increase in the time of time people spend alone.”
Greene added, “What I’ve witnessed in both my work and life is that there’s a high level of loneliness, and this is a mental problem in our society, on college campuses, in families and relationships.”
There are also health consequences related to loneliness, Dealy added.
“In terms of self-reporting, loneliness is more prevalent than diabetes, heart disease and obesity,” she said. “Experiencing prolonged loneliness is akin to the physical effects of smoking — but we also know the social connection can improve health and can protect against elements of depression and anxiety.”
First, turn inward
The first step in addressing the loneliness epidemic is to turn inward and identify our needs and how the people around us can make us feel safer.
Dealy also believes it’s essential to destigmatize loneliness. “It’s a universal feeling; we all feel lonely at different times. Being able to normalize it as a human experience has been compelling,” she said.
Resist morality bias
Greene described the connection between loneliness and increased polarization. Anecdotally, he said, people are engaging less in interpersonal communication and listening to siloed or extreme media. As a result, they make assumptions rather than being curious and asking questions.
“This is called morality bias,” he said. “When people assume moral realities about someone else that aren’t based on reality, the idea of giving people a chance has been lost.”
Build your community
Dealy said that participating in an intentionally organized space that fosters conversation may feel a little weird at first, but it’s helpful to have structure in place already.
She named a few examples of thriving peer-to-peer programs that have successfully engineered community, including the organization Beyond Differences, which facilitates a school-based curriculum under the banner No One Eats Alone Day, and the University of Virginia’s Hoos Connected, a one-credit course that teaches healthy relationship-building skills.
Stay open to opportunities
Further into the discussion, Slotterback asked for concrete ways to engage in challenging conversations.
Green said: “What I love to do when someone starts to talk about something they firmly believe that I believe is untrue, I attempt to draw out why they are holding so tightly to that belief.”
“You can be a strong member of your community, committed to your morals, and be open-minded,” he added. “Conversations are beautiful things, and the more we can keep them going instead of shutting someone down, the better. Lean into empathy and ask questions in a way that you would want to be asked yourself.”
Photography by Aimee Obidzinski